If you’re a mom, it’s safe to assume that you are some sort of multi-tasker. To get by in today’s society…it is a pre-requisite to mothering. Only that we step into an unfamiliar position, where we are required to wear many hats for the first time…and expected to be really good at it too.
From the moment you were birthed into motherhood, I’m sure you have experienced many days where you’re treading water while managing a heavy “to do” list.
Whether we moms like to admit this or not, the truth is that we all feel like we can drown from everything that we have shoved into our daily schedule.
It’s almost like there is a whisper in our ear (or some unspoken, subtle pressure) where we are told that we have to make it ALL happen.
I have to give it today’s mom. The term “Super Mom” no longer even describes us. This by no means is a tutting of our own horn – just seeing it for what it is.
Think about it…
A working mom is now the new norm in most homes, right?
That is kinda what dad’s used to do since the start of humanity. They went out to hunt, and bring home the bacon.
Moms stayed home to care for their young, the home, and sometimes would go out to collect a few berries and such, to add to the meal.
Yep. That was pretty much what family looked like all over the world, for tens of thousands of years…until recently. Life got a bit more complicated and things have changed for modern families.
Today, moms also go out to bring home the bacon, however just like their ancestors, they have to go home and also cook it – but first they have to pick up the kids and take them to their after-school activities, and then race home to help with homework – while they switch back and forth from cooking dinner. Next they get the kids off to bed in time so that they can again, race to the school meeting/local meetings/finalize work/catch up on emails/plan the school Fair and fundraisers, and also try to reach out to a few moms to plan a playdate. Oh, and before she lays down she has to make sure the dishes are done so they don’t stink up the kitchen.
Maybe there’s some room for a little connection with a partner at the end of the night – if he doesn’t pass out on the couch in front of the TV, of course.
She does hope she gets some time in during the week to make it to the bank, get to the market, do the laundry, clean the house, drycleaning, post office, and perhaps even make a difference in her community, or even fulfill on one of her own personal aspirations.
This has got me overwhelmed by just typing it!
Let’s take a breath here…
We are told to invite relaxing practices into our lives – meditation, yoga, gym, breathing…can we seriously add more to our “to do” list though? Sure these are all very relaxing, however they do not bring balance into the picture.
No wonder most moms today suffer from autoimmune disorders, anxiety, depression and whatever else is manifesting through their physical body.
How Do You Find Balance in Today’s Society?
This may burst your bubble, (it did mine, when I first heard it), but balance is not possible – it doesn’t exist.
Because balance is just an idea. It doesn’t exist in reality. Once you think your scales are balanced, something storms in and your on tilt again. So constantly striving for this idea may only bring on more stress. You may even get depressed, or feel defeated if you are not keeping up with the next “Rock Star” mom.
How Do You Balance Your Act?
Explore the art of “letting go”. Let go of trying to do what everyone else is doing – or telling you, you should be doing. Step onto the beaten path, and try to simplify by scheduling only what you truly want in your life.
Notice what you really would like to do, and what is important. Do your children need all the activities they are involved in? Perhaps one activity per child/per season? Can they each have one play date a month at your house, and then at a friend’s house? Do you have to participate in everything you are asked to do? Sure it is flattering, and it can feel really good to be a part of something great, but weigh it out first! What can wait a bit?
Schedule in by writing down (or plugging into your phone calendar) what you will do this week. Have a visual of what this looks like and see how it makes you feel. Are you already overwhelmed by just looking at it? What can you delegate or do next week – or simply remove from the list?
In my leadership training, I learned that a leader is not someone that takes it all on – but someone that creates a team where everyone fulfills on the same goal (only that you are leading them there). And you are the co-leader of your family. The whole family has the same goal of love, happiness, health, abundance, acheivement, fulfillment and “family”. Who else can be part of your team, that has similar goals in mind?
Other like – minded moms…
And here is how you can run things smoother, with an awesome team of friends/moms:
9 Ways to Juggle it All
- Reach out for support, and team play from your community
- Ask friends to pick up your child
- Create homework co-ops (This is when a few children go to a friend’s house once a week and the parent supports the children with their h.w. Swap around, so that each family does it only twice a month. It gives the other families a break from doing h.w every night. Perhaps the other families cook a dinner for the family that is tutoring all the kids.)
- Car – pool
- Alternate play dates
- Exchange baby sitting nights so parents get to replenish their marriage.
- Learn the power of “no” so that you can pick and choose what responsibilities you take on.
- If your kids are old enough, invite them to contribute to the house by sweeping, putting their laundry away, doing laundry, and even preparing their lunches. (My 6 and 10 year olds have taken these on from 4 years old – believe me they can do it).
- And see what hubby can take on as well – maybe he won’t clean the toilet, but there’s a lot that he can do. After all, you’ve taken on part of what used to be a dad’s responsibility, and he can take on much of what used to be a mom’s responsibility.
By creating teams, and do-able daily schedules, you may just have some extra time to dedicate to paying full attention to your own self, your partner, your children, and even your friends.
You will actually be fully present when your child is telling you about his day – instead of being distracted, and not fully “there”.
If you have scheduled time for what/who matters most, you are fulfilling on your committment to what really matter most to you – and those concerned.
We are all guilty of not fully being present, but what is the price of that in the long run? Are you feeding yourself and your relationships? Are you feeling like crap about it all? Or do you feel you’ve received a badge of honor for being the best multi-tasker? Does it really amount to much at the end of the day? Not really…
It is something to think about, take a look at, and restructure if needed.
These are all the ideas I had to share from my own hurdles lately. I have been swamped, different areas of my life have been taxed, and I had to reflect a bit. I am no longer trying to figure out how to balance it all – I am trying to live more meaningfully, as I live out the most important dreams on my list. Meaningful, memorable moments with my family, come first.
If I discover more ways to simplify, and change things up, I will be sharing on my FB page. But in the meanwhile, I would love to hear from you if you have found ways to “let go” of multitasking and perfection, and have returned your focus back to what truly matters to you.
Please share with me, and fellow readers in the comments section below. I know I can use all the feedback and tidbits I can get!
Sending you a heart warming hug for being a part of this journey with me,