First I would like to express my excitement about how fast this community is growing every week. I look forward to hearing from you and e-meeting you, as this forum evolves. Next… I apologize for not filling you in on our wonderful family vaca during this week- as I had promised. Catch up was a challenge and took over most of my time. As a writer, I like to write about what I am present to and our vacation was amazing and rejuvenating, but it has now passed. I am sure I will be reaching into that experience at some point when I am drawn to it. For now, I am feeling connected to the practice of wholistic parenting. So here’s your weekly post…
I mention the term “wholistic” often, and many wonder what exactly that means. I always hear my editor’s words echoing and asking me to define this term (as it does need clarity since many people automatically make it mean holistic – as in natural, alternative, etc.). Wholistic is the practice of “whole”. And when I mention “wholistic” parenting, it refers to parenting the child as a whole. Meaning every aspect of your child…physical, emotional, spiritual, social – the whole being.
And the way I tune into and grow aligned with this form of parenting is from my heart – the place of Love. When I come from my heart, I can then tune into my child (w)holly. Hence…love centered parenting. For example, if my child is acting up behaviorally, I tap in and observe or listen to my child as a whole being to fully understand what my child needs from me.
Is it physical? (she hasn’t napped, is coming down with a cold, is tired, hungry, cold, etc.); is it emotional? (she’s needing a hug, she’s mad, simply expressing anger, etc.); or maybe its spiritual (there is something occurring collectively, energetically in the cosmos, or it is a struggle she has come here with that will allow her to grow and evolve during her journey here, is it ancestral, etc.); or is it social or the environment (she hasn’t developed the tools and language to tell her brother to leave her alone, so she pushes, is there arguing in the family, and you get the idea here).
We are such complex and unique beings. Our children will have their reaction, and a lot of the time it is challenging to try to figure all this out, and guide them towards the best outcome. Yep, we even lose our tempers and patience and all productive response goes out the window. So what do you do?
It’s actually not that complicated. Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and take one deep breath. Maybe even a second deep breath. Studies show that your heart is like your brain, but reacts faster – in fact, it takes over your brain when attention is brought to the heart muscle. So if you’re about to lose it or simply not sure how to help your little one, just bring your focus to the primary muscle of your body – your heart. To LOVE. It will guide you, and from there, you will be able to guide your child. And no matter what is going on with your little one, you will have a better idea of what your child needs from you. And you can then nurture her fully and wholly. Try it – you’ll be surprised.
Practicing this more and more, will begin to grow a stronger bond between you and your child; a greater trust in your parenting skills and in your intuitive wisdom; and you will simply feel good knowing that you can be there and offer your child what it needs as its parent. You will also grow more skillful in understanding what part of your child needs attention. Although something can be masked as behavioral, it can be something deeper; something more, and as the parent, you grow skilled in knowing what exactly needs your love and attention.
This is not just me being fluffy and loving. It is true science. Look into it for more support, if you’d like. For more studies and information on heart centered parenting, read about the heart math studies at the Institute of Heart Math at www.heartmath.org.
In the meanwhile, don’t forget to check out my weekly tips, meditation and quote. And stay connected on FB for weekly updates.
To all my new readers, I send you all my love,