5 Easy Ways to Create A Healthy Sex Life With Your Partner (even with children)
1 – Create The Time
We all fill up our calendars with “To Do’s” about work, playdates, school events, family events, seasonal events, and much, much more. When was the last time you added time alone with your partner? Perhaps a date, a walk, a talk, sex, or a meditation. At first my husband and I felt awkward about having to schedule us in, but honestly…it was the only action that worked. Otherwise, we would get caught up in the day and all that had to be done, and would be exhausted by the end of the night.
Even if it is 10 minutes of quality time – you can fit it in. It is most important.
2 – Make the Most of It
Your time together, whether out to dinner, being intimate or simply having a 10 minute conversation should be uninterrupted. Be present and listen to each other – savour the connection and time together. Turn off your phone if you have to. Forget all else, and be with each other
3 – Connect Throughout the Day
With modern technology, you have no excuses. You can always send a text, an email, call or leave a voicemail, and it can be a heart, a smiley face, or simply…”I love you.” My husband and I sometimes even send each other inpsirational quotes during the day, that mean so much at any given moment. Its a thought; a gesture; a connection and its being generous with your feelings and affection.
You can always leave a sticky note (it can be a “dirty note”) with lunch, send a pic, or just slap a butt on your way to the kitchen. I enjoy the random hugs my husband gives as I am racing by. It always grounds me and reconnects me to him. This makes connecting in bed so much easier for me.
4 – Invite Something New
Have fun with each other. Explore something new! Invite something new into your bedroom that you can both learn about and enjoy together. This includes finding new spots in the house (or anywhere else) to be intimate. The bedroom right next to your children’s room may not be so ideal anymore…
5 – Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
As you connect more and more with each other, remember to always express what is on your mind, what is holding you back, what comes up for you, and what you want. This is also the practice of vulnerability and trust which are very important ingredients in a healthy relationship. These are the keys to growth in a healthy marriage and ultimately family. Work on your holdups together, or with the support of anyone you’d like.
Just enjoy all that your connection brings to you and your children. This is what you signed up for when you were married.