As I was driving today, I passed by a bus stop that had an advertisement on it, with the title above – “Kids Don’t Come With Instructions”. It resonated with me, and so I read on. The rest of the ad said something like… this is why you should trust your hospital with your child. And that part of the ad…I had no connection to.
What I was left with, was the idea that we need to trust an outside source when it comes to our children. In this case, it was about their health, but how many other times have we been redirected to an outside source when making a decision for our family. While I was driving, I began to wonder… how many times have we been intentionally directed to trust ourselves, or our intuition, our parenting instinct, our knowledge? How often are we guided to trust ourselves when it comes to our parenting choices? After all, does anyone know a child better than their own mother or father?
The truth is that our children do not come with instructions (I so wish that they did though – that manual would be priceless!). Parenting can definitely be a bit intimidating and overwhelming – at times even intense. Parenting is unlike any other experience in life. For all our other choices and responsibilities, we have access to training and education. Think about that for a moment – we spend years in college to become knowledgeable and masters in a profession, we have apprenticeships, training, internships, workshops, continuing education, and the list goes on. Before we put our knowledge to the test, we have access to enough training to make us feel comfortable enough to take that first step.
Parenting…the biggest job we will ever have – the one that comes with the most responsibility, has no prep course. You literally shift gears from one day to the next, and you hope for the best every single day that you are on the job. Sure, you could read a few books, talk to a few parents, but the reality is that you have no idea what you are in for, until you’re rocking that boat.
I had no idea what hit me when I had my son. I tried to stay afloat with all the sleep deprivation, lifestyle adjustments, and all the major changes that came along from a career woman one day, to mom the next morning. Really?? Is there no preparation for the biggest responsibility of my life? Do I get any guidance? Any help?
Eventually, I found the answers to many of my questions. I had an eye opening revelation… I was actually guided the entire time. I was guided into the most amazing experience of my life. My guides were my children and my intuition. Tuning into my kids, their needs, and their true nature, slowly allowed trust to enter into my parenting experience. I began to trust myself and know that what I felt to be best for them, actually was the best choice for them.
During certain circumstances, I noticed that I “knew” what I should’ve done in that situation, yet I hesitated because someone more knowledgeable told me otherwise, or because I was ambivalent and not confident enough to follow through on what I “felt” I should do. That was a great learning experience. Every time I told myself, “I knew I should’ve done that”, it actually served as a confirmation to just trust myself the next time. Eventually, I began to trust that little feeling within me, and the more it guided me in the right direction, the more I trusted myself and my “feeling”.
This feeling was my intuition. I needed to keep turning up the volume for my intuition. It needed to be loud enough, so that any time someone more knowledgeable tried to guide or misguide me, my inner voice was loud enough to drown out theirs.
In my upcoming book, Love Centered Parenting, I mention more about our intuition and parenting, from conception and on.
In the meanwhile, enjoy some of the tips from my book on the tab “weekly tips”.
And so, yes…unfortunately our little ones are not dropped off by a stork with a care package and instructions. But we don’t have to lean on a hospital, or any other outside source for that matter to figure it out. You already have it all within you, and your children will guide you to tune into them and to yourself. The answers are already with you. It is sort of magical, and it truly is one of the most beautiful parts of my journey here (with many ups and downs, lefts and rights of course). Allow yourself to “feel” your way through a situation a few times, and be patient. Begin to trust yourself more and more, until you no longer doubt your inner guiding system.
Tune in, turn up the volume and enjoy the ride!